1 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,960 This is Willard, a men's college. 2 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:20,540 One mile away is Fulton, a women's college. 3 00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:56,190 You heard of the sexual revolution? 4 00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,670 Well, I'm probably one of its first casualties. 5 00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:02,730 Paxton Quigley. 6 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,229 That's me. 7 00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:10,930 I'm being held prisoner in the attic by these three chicks. 8 00:01:11,170 --> 00:01:12,970 And they're trying to torture me to death. 9 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:14,990 Trying to kill me. 10 00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:23,670 They call this torture. 11 00:01:31,310 --> 00:01:34,770 Paxton Quigley, and I'll take you on a tour around the groovy little subculture 12 00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:36,230 of today's female. 13 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,870 And he's feeling kind of rough now. 14 00:02:12,110 --> 00:02:16,210 Feeling kind of slowed down by the life that he leads. 15 00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:18,490 But things just couldn't be worse. 16 00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:20,610 But he's out of condition. 17 00:02:21,230 --> 00:02:26,670 A case of malnutrition. You are going to see Paxton Quigley. 18 00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:30,970 Turn around, take a look at yourself and wonder why. 19 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:37,470 Your world is coming to an end, but there's no use in crying over spilled 20 00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:38,470 milk. 21 00:03:20,349 --> 00:03:24,170 The boys here at Zeta claim the guy made over 50 scores by the time he was a 22 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:25,690 sophomore, Mary. Where'd you get that? 23 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,290 Money give it to you? 24 00:03:27,510 --> 00:03:28,510 Yeah, how'd you know? 25 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:32,650 Those kind of movers like any sort of heart, you know what I mean? 26 00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:34,910 Cold, hard bastards. 27 00:03:35,450 --> 00:03:37,890 Come on, let's go boogaloo some more, please. Okay? Come on. 28 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,920 so damn special about my rump? 29 00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:15,980 Well, it just kind of hovers there above the stool like a timid hummingbird. 30 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,100 Fly off, please. 31 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:26,600 Firm female butts on the West Road's public property. 32 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,840 Who am I? I forget. 33 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,800 Whom I forget. 34 00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:48,760 I'll leave you to your fixations. 35 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,240 God save me from these loud, nasty children. 36 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,840 Omnes, omnes, non son, forgive me. 37 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,600 Omnes are bastards, huh? 38 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,740 Yes, indeed, and dreadfully boring. 39 00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:08,520 Kierkegaard says that boredom started in the Garden of Eden when Adam got bored 40 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,480 stiff walking around all day long in his birthday suit, so he created Eve. 41 00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:17,190 Soon the two of them got bored stiff together as man and wife. 42 00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:22,630 And they had Cain and Abel and they all four were bored as a family. 43 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:26,330 Kierkegaard calls it the aesthetic validity of marriage. 44 00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:28,870 Are you serious about that? 45 00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:30,189 About what? 46 00:05:30,190 --> 00:05:31,390 About him writing that, are you? 47 00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,390 I'm not about to make it up. 48 00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,650 Don't scroll around about this, you hear? 49 00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:39,670 Would you take your hand off my arm, Captain? Do you have it in black and 50 00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:40,970 white? Relax. 51 00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:42,950 Show me. Show me. 52 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:47,260 Uh, General, would you take your hand off my arm? Don't screw around. 53 00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:55,940 I'm sorry. I get carried away sometimes. 54 00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:58,420 Sorry. 55 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:02,820 Not too many chicks get turned on by the printing page these days, anyway. 56 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,300 It's, uh, too linear for them. 57 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,280 You were putting me on a ticket. 58 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,240 Some girls you quote Kierkegaard, you quote Jeanne. 59 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:18,660 Open a book with them and it's like pulling down the covers of a bed. 60 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,060 For the time, one can well enough endure living together. 61 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,340 But it would keep open a way of escape. 62 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:27,820 So as to be able to choose if a happier choice might offer itself. 63 00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:30,980 This reduces marriage to a civil arrangement. 64 00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:33,380 Yes. 65 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,740 This thing's quite a guy. 66 00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:40,840 My name is Aston Quigley. 67 00:06:42,729 --> 00:06:43,729 Toby Clinton. 68 00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:46,970 You came on like such a clown before that. 69 00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:48,750 God, not another one. 70 00:06:49,130 --> 00:06:50,910 You know, we all make mistakes, don't we? 71 00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:53,730 Do we really? 72 00:07:13,930 --> 00:07:15,170 Can't figure out what to make of it, hardly. 73 00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:16,730 Make of what? 74 00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:18,230 You, Clinton. 75 00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:21,170 I mean, you know, they hate to see a stud grounded. 76 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:23,750 Relax. 77 00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:28,170 The fact's been silly, old man. It's just, uh, we're spending the summer 78 00:07:28,170 --> 00:07:30,250 together in Provincetown. Did I hear that? 79 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:32,250 You heard it. 80 00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:33,270 Shh. 81 00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:45,030 What was it? It was a squirrel. 82 00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:48,710 All right. 83 00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:51,110 I love you madly. 84 00:09:12,199 --> 00:09:16,260 Look, Paxton, everyone, including Simone de Beauvoir, says you're not in love 85 00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:17,880 unless once in a while you try and play it. 86 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,600 So? Well, how come we never fight? 87 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:22,880 Paxton, look at me here. 88 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,540 Look at me, Paxton. 89 00:10:35,820 --> 00:10:38,000 Well, damn it, Paxton. I'm trying to be domestic. 90 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,580 Here. 91 00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:44,480 Get a kiss from her? 92 00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:20,950 Baxter, not in the kitchen. 93 00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,810 The gooey Demetrius fought to struggle free. 94 00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:28,870 Managed to fling a karate chop at the huge claw. 95 00:11:29,190 --> 00:11:30,490 You've got to, he cried. 96 00:11:30,910 --> 00:11:33,730 But the Ramadan just left its plastic laugh. 97 00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:54,890 It's the mass labor day exodus. 98 00:12:01,190 --> 00:12:04,350 As of tomorrow, the beach is going to be all ours. 99 00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:07,430 Except I'll keep the ocean. You can have all the sand. 100 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,300 How are you? 101 00:12:28,860 --> 00:12:32,800 Mommy and Daddy, this is Paxton Quigley. He lives right down the street, and he 102 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,420 just came by to play his guitar for me. 103 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,600 Very talented, he really is. 104 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:41,560 We decided, why should you travel all the way home to New Jersey? 105 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:47,120 On the bus, or however, when we could drive up here and collect you. 106 00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:51,920 Mother, why don't you sit down and please me? I promise you, the drive is, 107 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,820 Daddy, it's altogether exhilarating. 108 00:12:57,630 --> 00:12:59,690 Daddy, why don't you sit down? 109 00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:04,450 It's such a surprise for me. I mean, I can't tell you. 110 00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:08,470 Daddy, why don't you sit down and be comfortable, please? 111 00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:10,630 Your daughter is living in sin. 112 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:15,210 You're coming home with us right now, young lady. Where are your things? We're 113 00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:18,430 going to be adults about this. We're going to discuss this in an adult way. 114 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,320 Didn't quite catch the name. 115 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,680 May I ask you something, Mr. Quigley? 116 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:44,480 Why the hell aren't you in that bedroom defending my daughter against my wife? 117 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,240 You know, she's not a little girl anymore. 118 00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:53,320 I mean, she wouldn't feature that kind of help. 119 00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:55,740 Would you like a drink? 120 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,080 Yes. 121 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:09,600 with children, young man. 122 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,600 Looks nice. Leave it there. 123 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:19,900 You must have some heart. 124 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,200 I have. 125 00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:25,260 You two have been playing house up here all summer, hmm? 126 00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:31,000 Yeah, I suppose. 127 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,220 Suppose, Mr. Quigley? What the hell does that mean? 128 00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:40,870 Well, suppose, suppose, Mr. Quigley, that why don't you have a drink? 129 00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:43,750 I don't need it. 130 00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:45,970 Crap. 131 00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:49,530 What kind of man are you? 132 00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,710 Well, I think I... I know, I know. 133 00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:52,950 I know where it's at. 134 00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:54,470 You think you know what? 135 00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:55,990 I know my way around. 136 00:14:56,650 --> 00:14:59,210 Are you one of those potheads? 137 00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:01,490 No, but... A pansy? 138 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:05,030 No, and... I've never interfered. 139 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,340 A sensible father doesn't. 140 00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:13,900 Understand, my daughter may sleep with anybody she cares to so long as he's a 141 00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:15,260 man. 142 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,880 Why do I let them get to me like that? Why can't I learn to ignore them? 143 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,620 God, we were so good together, Pax. 144 00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:44,760 Look, I'll call you at the end of vacation, okay? 145 00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:48,700 Maybe we need this time apart. 146 00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:05,610 She better not be pregnant, young man. 147 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:18,370 Where has she been for the past five years? 148 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:19,690 At the movies? 149 00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:26,210 Two weeks in solitary with Mama and Toby Sprung. 150 00:16:26,490 --> 00:16:27,490 No! 151 00:17:59,630 --> 00:18:00,950 Take us a trip, yes. 152 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,860 Can you give a girl a lift? 153 00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:50,960 What you got there? 154 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,680 Yamaha. Does it bite? 155 00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:58,760 Come on, I got a woman waiting at Ford Hall. Where you going? Dewey. 156 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,560 Where you from, boy? Willard? 157 00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:04,620 Hey, do you know Walter Zimmerman there? 158 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:06,760 Yeah. 159 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:11,300 Man, has he gone and got himself some reputation. 160 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:12,840 I swear. 161 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:15,880 What kind of reputation? 162 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:23,430 Well, now, they claim he's the absolute wildest bedmate there is at Willard. 163 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,330 My friends are prone to make that claim. 164 00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:27,570 Yes, sir. 165 00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:30,790 Hey, do you think poor dog can keep a bit, baby? 166 00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:32,350 I'm Euless. 167 00:19:33,370 --> 00:19:34,610 I'm Walter Zinnerman. 168 00:19:35,350 --> 00:19:39,950 I could just tell by the way you was a-sittin'. Dirty, dirty. 169 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,870 Never took much to shake up a Willard. 170 00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:46,120 Hey, boy, you ever been painted? 171 00:19:46,940 --> 00:19:49,000 Come on, get on. Oh, I forgot. 172 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,280 Ford Hall. 173 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,520 Hush my naughty mouth. 174 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,460 Sheem on me. 175 00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:57,180 Where do you paint? 176 00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:59,460 Far, far from Ford Hall, baby. 177 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:11,520 You almost through? 178 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,080 Oh, Quiggy, honey, just... 179 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,079 Cool it. 180 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,600 Dang, but you fussy. 181 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:21,540 Euless, honey, you just an outdone yourself. 182 00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:26,220 It is just a gas, a total gas. 183 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,100 Beautiful. 184 00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:45,940 That's only my face. 185 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:47,420 Why was I naked? 186 00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:52,140 I just wanted to take a little peek. 187 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,220 Because fair is fair. 188 00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:05,700 And it looks like I owe you one. 189 00:21:07,540 --> 00:21:11,900 But first, why don't we get a little something to eat down at the shack? 190 00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:14,570 I told you I got to be at Fort Hall. 191 00:21:14,970 --> 00:21:16,690 Now, I'm telling you, Popesy. 192 00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:19,610 So then I transferred my butt from this Howard place. 193 00:21:19,890 --> 00:21:21,890 I mean, you never seen such going on. 194 00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:25,590 First you got them black, black militants. 195 00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:29,630 Just a-screaming and a-raving and just carrying on something awful. 196 00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,110 Then there's the other half. 197 00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:35,090 The whitest Negroes you ever laid your eyes on. 198 00:21:35,430 --> 00:21:37,990 By the soulful as a toilet plunger. 199 00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:39,970 Made me sick. 200 00:21:40,290 --> 00:21:41,810 Nobody knew where it was at. 201 00:21:42,190 --> 00:21:46,230 But Eunice knew, honey. She was out dancing up a storm each and every night. 202 00:21:46,370 --> 00:21:47,370 Shoot. 203 00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:50,110 Oh, damn watermelons. 204 00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:54,050 You don't get shook up too easy, do you, babe? 205 00:21:56,070 --> 00:21:56,550 Well... 206 00:21:56,550 --> 00:22:04,290 Oh, 207 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:05,690 damn watermelons. 208 00:22:11,820 --> 00:22:12,820 So, Poopsie? 209 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:20,020 Well, the question is whether a bigoted negress and a 210 00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:24,580 bigoted wasp can find happiness together in the middle of Vermont. 211 00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:28,500 Oh, we'll see. We'll see. 212 00:22:51,630 --> 00:22:52,770 He's sort of retired for a while. 213 00:22:53,270 --> 00:22:55,170 Bless me, the boy retired. 214 00:22:55,690 --> 00:22:56,690 That's a right one. 215 00:22:57,410 --> 00:23:00,990 Tease him, tickle him, but don't let him tie you down. 216 00:23:04,910 --> 00:23:06,190 Eyesight's failing lately, son. 217 00:23:06,870 --> 00:23:07,870 Can't make out much. 218 00:23:11,510 --> 00:23:12,510 Mighty can. 219 00:23:15,930 --> 00:23:17,290 Best $3 cabin. 220 00:23:17,690 --> 00:23:19,470 Yours for $1.50. Great. 221 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:22,960 You need any help? 222 00:23:23,380 --> 00:23:24,840 You just holler, son. 223 00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:27,100 You just holler. 224 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,760 You're very passionate. 225 00:23:30,420 --> 00:23:37,100 What did he ask you for? Some luggage or something? 226 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,020 I've got to do these damn research papers and I'll be up all night writing 227 00:24:01,020 --> 00:24:02,020 on them. 228 00:24:06,220 --> 00:24:09,940 Look, you know my first interest was always academic. Come 229 00:24:09,940 --> 00:24:15,120 on, stop frowning. 230 00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:18,020 That's better. 231 00:24:32,110 --> 00:24:34,050 Got something to tell you, Paxton. 232 00:24:34,330 --> 00:24:35,330 What? 233 00:24:36,670 --> 00:24:40,450 I gots to be in love first. 234 00:24:45,670 --> 00:24:46,670 Well, 235 00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:52,790 well. 236 00:24:55,110 --> 00:24:56,450 Well, well, what? 237 00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:04,990 You show off to me. 238 00:25:09,470 --> 00:25:11,170 And I was seduced. 239 00:25:11,950 --> 00:25:13,370 No two ways about it. 240 00:25:13,710 --> 00:25:14,710 You sure you know Toby? 241 00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:17,830 Uh, it's hard to say. 242 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:21,930 Hey, Jake, uh, do you think I'm losing my moral fiber? 243 00:25:22,250 --> 00:25:23,250 Huh? 244 00:25:23,830 --> 00:25:26,710 Well, I've been waiting around for some guilt or something, but, uh... Nothing. 245 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,300 Look at me and tell me what you see. 246 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:45,060 Someone you used to know who feels so all alone. 247 00:25:45,340 --> 00:25:48,320 Can't you see that I've changed? 248 00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:50,380 Oh, you. 249 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,340 I'm working on a scheme here. 250 00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:20,620 A scheme? 251 00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:25,880 Well, I know these two girls who have an apartment in North Adams. They're 252 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,980 driving to California for the winter and they're looking for someone to sublet. 253 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,520 You could move right out of Zeta Chi and we could live together again. 254 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,380 You could commute to school. 255 00:26:38,420 --> 00:26:39,420 Yeah. 256 00:27:02,719 --> 00:27:03,880 Dessert? Is there any dessert? 257 00:27:05,380 --> 00:27:06,840 Look, Paxton, what's the bitch? 258 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:09,040 What's the what? 259 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,740 It was pretty obvious from the way you took over that flower jaunt through the 260 00:27:12,740 --> 00:27:13,860 woods. Would you get off my ear? 261 00:27:14,740 --> 00:27:17,620 I mean, you could have inquired whether I was interested in moving into that 262 00:27:17,620 --> 00:27:18,620 apartment or not. 263 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,800 But hell no, you already packed my bags for me. 264 00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:26,620 Just lost a dime. 265 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,000 What? 266 00:27:30,190 --> 00:27:31,190 I think just a bit. 267 00:27:31,590 --> 00:27:33,390 I hate plastic plates. 268 00:27:40,210 --> 00:27:41,250 What kind of bed? 269 00:27:41,950 --> 00:27:42,950 Push it out. 270 00:27:43,690 --> 00:27:44,750 Just turn off the water. 271 00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:51,950 One evening at home, Daddy said... He was slightly parted. He made me a wager. 272 00:27:51,990 --> 00:27:55,430 He said, Daughter, you inform your mealy-mouthed beau that you're going to 273 00:27:55,430 --> 00:27:58,070 rent an apartment for the both of you near school for this winter. 274 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,360 He said, I'll bet you ten cents against the rent that he either splits or flips. 275 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:07,100 He said young movers like that Mr. Quigley like to spend the summer months 276 00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:10,480 playing house, but they like to spend the winter under the protection of a 277 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,480 fraternity house banner. 278 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,900 So, of course, I put my money on you. 279 00:28:17,060 --> 00:28:19,080 Ten cents isn't very much money, is it? 280 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,640 That whole apartment bit this afternoon was a put-up. 281 00:28:23,380 --> 00:28:24,380 A test? 282 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:25,680 Yes, it was a test. 283 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,520 Damn you, Clint. 284 00:28:27,850 --> 00:28:28,850 Now wait. 285 00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:58,700 Hey. Fly off. 286 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,020 Hey. Where's John in this place? 287 00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:03,740 Hey. Fly off, I said. 288 00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:06,660 Better stand up or your butt's going to catch cold. 289 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:08,640 I said stand up. 290 00:29:51,470 --> 00:29:54,910 You know, if you're really rotten to some women, then they'll do anything for 291 00:29:54,910 --> 00:29:56,250 you. Man, it's amazing. 292 00:29:56,750 --> 00:29:57,990 You wanted an opinion, right? 293 00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:01,130 Yeah, but no way. You wanted an opinion, right? 294 00:30:01,650 --> 00:30:06,490 Look, her old man put her up to it. She just was... Quick, once they start 295 00:30:06,490 --> 00:30:11,470 testing you, once the game's started, you might as well... Yeah, I know it. 296 00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,810 But... Look, I just ask you a question. 297 00:30:14,370 --> 00:30:17,210 Have you put all your marbles in the wrong basket? 298 00:30:19,430 --> 00:30:20,430 You'd say so. 299 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,800 I'd say you better think about it good. 300 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:26,400 Phone, Quig. 301 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:28,080 Hey, Quig, phone. 302 00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:33,200 Uh, how'd you find out where I was? 303 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,040 Contacts. 304 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,320 What was the matter? 305 00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:42,140 Well, uh, look, I'm not a free agent. You can't keep calling me... 306 00:30:51,790 --> 00:30:53,950 was pouring down on Quiggy, too. 307 00:30:54,370 --> 00:31:00,150 And then I doused this lilac perfume all over every inch of me, Quiggy. And I 308 00:31:00,150 --> 00:31:04,670 thought, now, why should my perfume parts be going to waste? 309 00:31:05,170 --> 00:31:09,090 You're being obscene, and I'm going to hang up because I can't stand it. 310 00:31:09,410 --> 00:31:11,130 Nothing on under my robe. 311 00:31:11,670 --> 00:31:15,010 Oops, my sash just came undone. My, my. 312 00:31:15,810 --> 00:31:17,110 Quiggy, you coming over? 313 00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:27,700 You just leave it back to Dewey on my talk, okay? 314 00:31:27,900 --> 00:31:28,900 Yes, sir. 315 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,900 Did you have to land just there, sir? 316 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,860 My flower collage. 317 00:32:17,700 --> 00:32:18,700 Unsalvageable. 318 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,480 What's the real horticultural cosmos? 319 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:25,640 Venus? 320 00:32:29,220 --> 00:32:30,220 Mars? 321 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,120 Saturn? 322 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,620 Frankly, I did not expect the apocalypse so soon. 323 00:32:40,140 --> 00:32:41,160 Damn birds. 324 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,460 Is this where the hippies hang out down here? 325 00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:46,700 I wouldn't know. 326 00:32:47,740 --> 00:32:49,180 What caused your sprint? 327 00:32:50,540 --> 00:32:51,660 It's hard to say. 328 00:32:52,980 --> 00:32:54,780 Samantha? Janet. 329 00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:58,120 Janet. Janet Sarah Weingarten. 330 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:04,560 Do you think it possible for a woman to be both Jewish and psychedelic at the 331 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:05,560 same time? 332 00:33:06,140 --> 00:33:09,340 Neither do I, actually. 333 00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:13,950 Did you know you give vibrations of extreme inner tension? 334 00:33:15,510 --> 00:33:16,870 Yeah, that could be. 335 00:33:17,230 --> 00:33:18,570 Are you good at conflicts? 336 00:33:19,770 --> 00:33:20,770 Bad. 337 00:33:21,010 --> 00:33:24,570 And even worse at being put on. It makes my petals wilt. 338 00:33:26,630 --> 00:33:28,030 May I ask you something? 339 00:33:30,350 --> 00:33:32,370 Would you say that I scare men away? 340 00:33:32,710 --> 00:33:33,710 Yeah. 341 00:33:33,770 --> 00:33:35,250 I'd say you scare men away. 342 00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:39,610 In fact, I'm planning on running back up that hill faster than I ran down it. 343 00:33:45,070 --> 00:33:46,330 Are you good at conflicts? 344 00:33:49,870 --> 00:33:53,190 You might be better to stick around a bit, Mr. Quigley. 345 00:33:53,850 --> 00:33:54,850 Who said that? 346 00:33:56,230 --> 00:33:58,310 I'm afraid it was I, Mr. Quigley. 347 00:33:58,650 --> 00:33:59,650 Huh? 348 00:34:00,490 --> 00:34:05,150 Once in a while, my id simply takes over, and it speaks with a voice of its 349 00:34:05,150 --> 00:34:09,409 own. You see, my id does not realize that I am the product of the 350 00:34:09,409 --> 00:34:11,230 conservative lox and bagel upbringing. 351 00:34:11,850 --> 00:34:14,070 Well, what does your id think? 352 00:34:15,389 --> 00:34:18,810 Maid thinks that you have soft eyes. 353 00:34:21,050 --> 00:34:22,790 Do you care to discuss it? 354 00:34:23,130 --> 00:34:26,969 Look, the only place I discuss anything with women is in bed. 355 00:34:27,429 --> 00:34:28,429 I do. 356 00:34:29,010 --> 00:34:30,010 Yeah? 357 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:44,719 New record, son? 358 00:34:44,860 --> 00:34:45,860 Uh, 359 00:34:47,699 --> 00:34:48,860 no, no, Bobby. 360 00:34:49,300 --> 00:34:50,300 Listen, 361 00:34:51,100 --> 00:34:52,100 baby. 362 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,580 Look, Ulysses, baby, a midterm is a midterm. 363 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,019 Don't forget. 364 00:34:58,020 --> 00:35:01,700 If you need any help... All right. 365 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,520 But what do you want me to do? You want me to flunk out? 366 00:35:10,060 --> 00:35:12,360 I was on my way until I remembered. 367 00:35:16,270 --> 00:35:19,630 Right. Yeah, keep your robe closed till tomorrow night. 368 00:35:19,890 --> 00:35:21,150 Yeah. Yeah. 369 00:35:21,430 --> 00:35:24,130 Oh, am I ever. Yeah. 370 00:35:24,810 --> 00:35:25,810 Right. 371 00:35:27,010 --> 00:35:28,010 Huh? 372 00:35:34,210 --> 00:35:38,470 I asked, do you like my magic brownies? 373 00:35:39,190 --> 00:35:40,390 Do I like them? 374 00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:42,430 Oh, yeah. 375 00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:48,020 my hand. 376 00:35:48,500 --> 00:35:49,140 The 377 00:35:49,140 --> 00:35:55,800 scrawling in my 378 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:56,800 hand. 379 00:35:59,500 --> 00:36:02,500 The pastry seems to have rendered you immobile. 380 00:36:04,900 --> 00:36:07,440 I always thought you had to smoke this stuff. 381 00:36:08,140 --> 00:36:09,260 Oh, no. 382 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,840 My super ego would never allow that. 383 00:36:12,260 --> 00:36:17,360 Even when I bake these goodies, I'm forced to close my eyes and Pretend that 384 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:18,360 it's nothing. 385 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:23,140 You really do have some fierce hang-ups, don't you? 386 00:36:23,700 --> 00:36:24,700 Really? 387 00:36:25,300 --> 00:36:26,300 Nasty. 388 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:31,120 You share my thing for miracles? 389 00:36:32,140 --> 00:36:33,140 Huh? 390 00:36:39,100 --> 00:36:41,620 Please. Well, you tickled me. 391 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,460 I've never been so zonked in all my life. 392 00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:50,420 How come this afternoon I overwhelmed your id that way? 393 00:36:51,380 --> 00:36:58,300 It responds to men who are compassionately defiant. I'm 394 00:36:58,300 --> 00:36:59,300 afraid. 395 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,460 Loose mind type bod, huh? 396 00:37:23,500 --> 00:37:25,360 Is it so terribly obvious? 397 00:38:02,380 --> 00:38:05,880 even stimulate me. I'm just so... Hung up? 398 00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:08,860 Forget it. 399 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,020 When did it all begin? 400 00:38:14,180 --> 00:38:20,960 Well, uh... I was in junior high school. The assistant swimming coach, he, uh... 401 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,280 Oh! 402 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,180 We've made your miracles, I'm afraid. 403 00:38:36,980 --> 00:38:39,040 All this time I thought I was queer. 404 00:38:42,940 --> 00:38:43,940 Paxton. 405 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,480 Cuddle me, Paxton. 406 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:49,960 In a minute. 407 00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:55,200 In a minute. 408 00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,540 Thank God for faggots. 409 00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:05,100 I sometimes think that faggots... Let's make it worth more chicks than guys do. 410 00:39:05,420 --> 00:39:06,500 Did you ever think of that? 411 00:39:08,660 --> 00:39:09,940 Yeah, I was seduced. 412 00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:15,240 Miracle. 413 00:39:15,540 --> 00:39:16,540 Yeah. 414 00:39:16,740 --> 00:39:19,040 Yeah, she sounds like a definite loser to this jam. 415 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:24,480 Ah, but think of the challenge, man. The concept of it, negotiating three birds 416 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,560 simultaneously at a school that small. 417 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:27,880 Wow. 418 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:32,840 You're still strung out on the toads, right? 419 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:34,960 Yeah. 420 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:37,140 More than ever. 421 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,260 Jake, what... You know, 422 00:39:43,260 --> 00:39:46,780 before toads, I ran around nailing chicks right and left like a madman, you 423 00:39:46,780 --> 00:39:50,000 know? And then I meet a chick who puts me at ease, and here I am again running 424 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,940 around nailing chicks right and left again like a madman. I mean, it doesn't 425 00:39:52,940 --> 00:39:53,738 make sense. 426 00:39:53,740 --> 00:39:55,620 Jake, you're only a victim of the times. Why fight it? 427 00:39:56,220 --> 00:39:57,900 Well, I thought I'd grown some soul. 428 00:39:58,820 --> 00:39:59,819 You grow potatoes. 429 00:39:59,820 --> 00:40:00,820 You don't grow souls. 430 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:02,980 Now, look, this Jan, where does she live? 431 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:04,280 Uh, Marlowe. 432 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:05,840 Near Ford? 433 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,820 Hmm. Near Dewey? 434 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:10,380 Quigg? Hmm. 435 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:11,840 Near Dewey? 436 00:40:12,620 --> 00:40:14,160 Uh, it's across the street. 437 00:40:15,180 --> 00:40:16,360 Oh, wait a minute. 438 00:40:17,020 --> 00:40:18,840 I couldn't pull it off anyway, I guess. 439 00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:21,260 All the maps, diagrams. 440 00:40:22,060 --> 00:40:23,060 Suicide. 441 00:40:23,420 --> 00:40:25,460 The concept of it, though, man. 442 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,860 Yeah, but that's not the point, Jake. 443 00:40:28,180 --> 00:40:29,180 No, but... Okay. 444 00:40:29,900 --> 00:40:31,220 We'll call the story over here, right? 445 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:34,300 Administration be here. 446 00:40:35,420 --> 00:40:36,460 We'll call this Ford. 447 00:40:36,940 --> 00:40:37,940 Oh, wait. 448 00:40:38,580 --> 00:40:41,140 You know something, Quig? You never answered me before when I said, why 449 00:40:41,140 --> 00:40:42,140 fight it? 450 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,260 You're going into Ford, point X. 451 00:40:49,220 --> 00:40:51,180 Suddenly you come upon Jan right here. 452 00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:56,220 She's walking slowly but steadily in a westerly direction. 453 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,200 All right. 454 00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:00,940 You turn and run toward wall, point Y. 455 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,060 B, you walk straight past Jan toward Ford. 456 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:08,360 C, you cut across the green to Dewey, 17 seconds at full run. 457 00:41:08,860 --> 00:41:10,340 Uh, A. 458 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,160 Wrong. B, you walk past. 459 00:41:14,580 --> 00:41:17,300 B, I walk past. Snap to it, man. I am snapping. 460 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,420 Hey, man, won't the guys in the house be level? 461 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,700 After all that gas they've been handing you. It's the Quigs' comeback. 462 00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:29,280 In fact, I want you to spread the word that I'm secretly pinned to Toby. What? 463 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,200 Look, either you do it or you brag about it. Not both. 464 00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:33,500 Just think of the challenge. 465 00:41:35,420 --> 00:41:37,900 Tuesday, recuperate from Monday. Book, house, football. 466 00:41:38,260 --> 00:41:39,260 Wednesday. 467 00:41:39,700 --> 00:41:41,080 Thursday, you're at home. 468 00:41:42,220 --> 00:41:43,440 Friday, Saturday, Toby. 469 00:41:47,980 --> 00:41:49,720 Sunday, recuperate from Toby. 470 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,020 January, she insists. 471 00:41:51,260 --> 00:41:53,040 Book, watch Bonanza. 472 00:42:49,230 --> 00:42:51,510 I just gotta stop this, Jake. It's flipped out of control. 473 00:42:51,730 --> 00:42:52,549 I know. 474 00:42:52,550 --> 00:42:54,070 I got it. I know. 475 00:42:54,530 --> 00:42:56,070 No, I just got it. I know. 476 00:43:35,150 --> 00:43:39,550 Why are you all hunched over like that? I got the stabbing pain. 477 00:43:40,430 --> 00:43:42,330 Moxton, you are ash white. 478 00:43:42,830 --> 00:43:44,890 Shh. I'll be all right. 479 00:43:45,530 --> 00:43:46,610 I'll be all right. 480 00:43:51,910 --> 00:43:53,390 I'll meet you back in the lab. 481 00:43:59,050 --> 00:44:01,690 Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. 482 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,000 Om. Om. 483 00:44:09,740 --> 00:44:10,960 Hare Krishna. 484 00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:12,500 Hare Krishna. 485 00:44:14,580 --> 00:44:15,580 Om. 486 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:20,540 Damn it, Paxton. 487 00:44:23,700 --> 00:44:24,940 It's just not my bag. 488 00:44:27,240 --> 00:44:29,120 Pax, you're fighting it. I know you are. 489 00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:34,260 Look, it's like when you take a wad of dough in your hands. 490 00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,860 And you start working it, working it to get the lumps out. 491 00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:40,660 Well, that's what meditation does to your mind. 492 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,020 Do I give you the lumps lately, Dolly? 493 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:44,640 Occasionally. 494 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:46,520 Lately, quite a few. 495 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:50,320 What do you mean? 496 00:44:50,460 --> 00:44:51,640 It's nothing specific. 497 00:44:52,220 --> 00:44:54,680 You remind me a little of a tap dancer, that's all. 498 00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,920 Like you feel obligated to keep me constantly entertained. 499 00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:01,500 Well, is that bad? 500 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,200 Very lumpy. 501 00:45:11,720 --> 00:45:13,900 You want to listen to this and tell me what you think of it? 502 00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:15,480 One of yours? 503 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:24,920 See the smoke that forms its own design Blurs the light and 504 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:25,920 disappears 505 00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:33,220 You reach out for his hand and you will find he's left behind. 506 00:45:34,140 --> 00:45:36,800 No trace except the tear. 507 00:45:39,180 --> 00:45:43,640 Who can tell what time may bring? 508 00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,820 We can only guess. 509 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:53,980 No, no, men don't leave you anything. 510 00:45:56,970 --> 00:45:58,690 Women leave your land. 511 00:46:09,430 --> 00:46:10,430 Well. 512 00:46:15,650 --> 00:46:16,890 Jesus, Paxton. 513 00:46:18,250 --> 00:46:19,310 It's, uh, for you. 514 00:46:19,950 --> 00:46:24,170 It's an anniversary present. I mean, I haven't given you anything in a whole 515 00:46:24,170 --> 00:46:25,190 goddamn year, so... 516 00:46:31,310 --> 00:46:32,350 West of the Mississippi. 517 00:48:48,620 --> 00:48:50,100 Almost missed it, Quig. 518 00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:51,820 The whole show. 519 00:48:53,340 --> 00:48:55,280 Pig night, Quigley. 520 00:48:56,020 --> 00:48:58,580 What's a pig night without the Quig? 521 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,500 We looked all over for you. 522 00:49:01,860 --> 00:49:02,960 All the guys. 523 00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:05,900 There's still some of them down there. 524 00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:24,600 Thank you. 525 00:51:41,450 --> 00:51:42,450 in about ten days? 526 00:51:42,850 --> 00:51:44,830 Fine. You'll have to sign a lease. 527 00:51:46,190 --> 00:51:47,870 Don't give me a chance to clean it up. 528 00:51:48,870 --> 00:51:51,910 Um, 24th of February. 529 00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:54,190 And what is your name? 530 00:51:55,450 --> 00:51:56,450 Paxton Quigley. 531 00:51:57,490 --> 00:52:01,950 Paxton. P-A-X-T-O-N Q-U-I-G-L-E-Y. 532 00:52:02,650 --> 00:52:04,130 Would you sign it here, please? 533 00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:49,280 I do, you do, he does, she does. I do, you do, he does, she 534 00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,820 does. Bridget, would you like to say that for me, hon? 535 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:58,900 I do, you do, he does, she does. Beautiful, baby. 536 00:52:59,300 --> 00:53:05,840 Who recalls from last time when you used the word teach and when you used the 537 00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:06,840 word learn? 538 00:53:14,220 --> 00:53:15,220 the board again. 539 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,760 You've been tailing me as something, Quiggy, huh? 540 00:53:30,020 --> 00:53:31,020 Coincidence. 541 00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:35,480 Comes on like Aunt Jemima and turns out to be like Ralph Bunch. 542 00:53:36,300 --> 00:53:38,080 Shut my mouth. 543 00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:43,240 We all got our funs, Quiggy, hon, and you just don't appreciate nobody messing 544 00:53:43,240 --> 00:53:44,189 with hers. 545 00:53:44,190 --> 00:53:45,009 Got it? 546 00:53:45,010 --> 00:53:46,010 Nobody. 547 00:53:47,570 --> 00:53:48,570 Uh, hey. 548 00:53:48,830 --> 00:53:49,830 Hey. 549 00:53:50,550 --> 00:53:51,790 Did I hear double negative? 550 00:53:52,450 --> 00:53:53,450 Sheesh. 551 00:53:58,190 --> 00:54:00,890 Women are always a mystery. 552 00:54:01,150 --> 00:54:04,250 And you don't solve any part of that mystery by going to bed with them. 553 00:54:04,290 --> 00:54:06,810 Because in bed, they can really confuse you. 554 00:54:07,370 --> 00:54:09,150 Suppose the Tobes has already moved in, huh? 555 00:54:10,250 --> 00:54:12,470 No. I haven't even told her about it yet. 556 00:54:13,620 --> 00:54:14,620 Telling her tonight. 557 00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:17,960 You're our first vinegar. 558 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:23,860 Nothing like a grown man weeping. 559 00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:29,200 Oh, by the way, Jan and Ulyss are fair game again. 560 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:33,620 If you deem yourself capable of rising to the occasion. 561 00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:35,660 I'd take a tough lacrosse game any day. 562 00:54:37,020 --> 00:54:40,640 Hey, Quick, you want to get hung up in a split level with automatic sprinklers, 563 00:54:40,660 --> 00:54:41,459 do you? 564 00:54:41,460 --> 00:54:42,720 I could use some help tomorrow. 565 00:54:46,540 --> 00:54:48,300 Jake, there's too much I don't understand. 566 00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,000 I've got to try and find out what still makes a difference. 567 00:54:54,140 --> 00:55:00,980 With Obie helping me, I... I love 568 00:55:00,980 --> 00:55:01,980 her, Jake. 569 00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:05,080 Jake. 570 00:55:11,240 --> 00:55:12,240 I've got your gloves. 571 00:55:47,630 --> 00:55:49,430 In some week, Paxton, it really has. 572 00:55:49,970 --> 00:55:50,970 Yeah, I know. 573 00:55:51,610 --> 00:55:52,890 There's so much I've got to tell you. 574 00:55:53,270 --> 00:55:55,850 Paxton, I have something of yours. 575 00:55:56,450 --> 00:55:57,450 What? 576 00:55:59,490 --> 00:56:00,490 Huh? 577 00:56:01,530 --> 00:56:02,530 Follow me, please. 578 00:56:02,790 --> 00:56:04,270 It's something you never collected. 579 00:56:09,770 --> 00:56:10,770 And what's up there? 580 00:56:14,750 --> 00:56:16,390 Close the door behind you, Paxton. 581 00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:22,480 What's up? 582 00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:26,480 Huh? 583 00:56:27,460 --> 00:56:28,460 Where are you? 584 00:56:30,900 --> 00:56:33,180 I think you're really going to like the place I got. 585 00:57:08,140 --> 00:57:10,440 It was on exhibit this week at the Student Art Gallery. 586 00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,240 I walked by and I looked naturally. 587 00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:16,660 I looked again, but again. 588 00:57:17,860 --> 00:57:21,560 Toby, um... It's signed Euless. 589 00:57:22,500 --> 00:57:25,300 Well, now, look who done shown. 590 00:57:26,180 --> 00:57:27,200 I swear. 591 00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:32,680 It didn't take her very long to find my way about to earn. 592 00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:37,020 And I tell you, we done some chatting last Tuesday afternoon. 593 00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:41,280 You take a good look at her, Poopsie. 594 00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:46,020 Because she didn't carry it on similarly for the last four days, non-stop. 595 00:57:47,260 --> 00:57:49,440 Toby. But then, I got to figure. 596 00:57:49,980 --> 00:57:56,800 Now, if I'm Mondays and Thursdays, Toby is Fridays 597 00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,100 and Saturdays. 598 00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:00,340 Queer as a three-dollar bill, huh? 599 00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:05,180 Seven nights a week, huh? 600 00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,240 You ought to thank the Lord it didn't fall off. 601 00:58:08,730 --> 00:58:12,290 I think it's excruciating that you've betrayed a love so pure as hers. 602 00:58:12,850 --> 00:58:16,170 Well, now, the three of us here, we've thought up something for you. 603 00:58:16,590 --> 00:58:19,890 And I sincerely hope you like our little dish. Okay. 604 00:58:21,730 --> 00:58:24,950 There's a sleeping bag over there. 605 00:58:25,410 --> 00:58:27,790 It's a natural studs paradise up here. 606 00:58:28,590 --> 00:58:30,310 I'll be seeing you by and by. 607 00:59:18,190 --> 00:59:21,570 Look, if anybody finds out about him being in the attic, we all three swear 608 00:59:21,570 --> 00:59:23,510 to deny any knowledge of him being there. 609 00:59:24,470 --> 00:59:25,470 Agreed? 610 00:59:25,730 --> 00:59:26,730 Agreed. 611 00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:28,530 Jan, when are you going to call me? 612 00:59:29,010 --> 00:59:30,770 Because we've got to keep that poor boy busy. 613 00:59:31,430 --> 00:59:37,910 I have eight o'clock art class, but I'll be back here at ten, and I'll make it 614 00:59:37,910 --> 00:59:39,950 back at two, and at six. 615 00:59:41,230 --> 00:59:44,750 Poor Paxton. He just ain't going to believe all this action. 616 00:59:45,130 --> 00:59:46,970 I just might paint another picture. 617 00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,180 And you better believe I'm not about to give in first. 618 01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:03,060 I hope. 619 01:02:09,930 --> 01:02:16,630 Pete Frigley, 198-2006-Z4, has missed his last five political science 620 01:02:16,630 --> 01:02:19,290 classes and seven chocolate seminars. 621 01:02:19,910 --> 01:02:23,430 Let's send out a photograph and description to all the surrounding 622 01:02:23,430 --> 01:02:25,650 colleges and ski resorts. 623 01:02:25,930 --> 01:02:30,850 Let's check with his fraternity house first, but don't notify his parents. 624 01:02:31,390 --> 01:02:32,770 At least not yet. 625 01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:47,160 You know, it's medically impossible to kill anybody this way. 626 01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:50,660 I'm going on a hunger strike. 627 01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:52,680 No more hanky-panky. 628 01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:53,920 Out of commission. 629 01:03:33,450 --> 01:03:34,910 Dr. Eden here. Dr. 630 01:03:35,170 --> 01:03:37,670 Eden? Well, where's the poor boys on Farm Australia? 631 01:03:38,110 --> 01:03:39,110 Do what you can. 632 01:04:49,870 --> 01:04:53,890 The way Quiggy loves steaks, he ought to be polishing that off now and stuff. 633 01:04:54,930 --> 01:04:56,470 Toby? Hmm? 634 01:04:57,330 --> 01:05:01,610 Don't you think we'll, um... Perhaps he's paid by now, really? 635 01:05:02,570 --> 01:05:05,670 Look, Jen, you listen. I can carry on by ourselves. You hear? 636 01:05:08,550 --> 01:05:09,550 Merely an observation. 637 01:05:11,030 --> 01:05:13,310 Frankly, I'm getting very bad vibrations. 638 01:05:15,970 --> 01:05:18,570 Uh, and although I know not, um... 639 01:05:18,990 --> 01:05:23,550 precisely what manner of beast they have captivated up there in that attic. 640 01:05:24,030 --> 01:05:28,710 As a member of the dormitory council, I felt it was my duty under our honor 641 01:05:28,710 --> 01:05:29,710 system to report. 642 01:05:29,890 --> 01:05:30,890 Dean. 643 01:05:31,370 --> 01:05:33,050 What's your guess exactly? 644 01:05:34,490 --> 01:05:36,170 Offhand? Hmm. 645 01:05:37,670 --> 01:05:44,530 Oh, well, um... I'd say that it was a carnivorous mammal 646 01:05:44,530 --> 01:05:45,530 of some sort. 647 01:05:46,290 --> 01:05:48,270 They've taken to feeding its steaks. 648 01:05:51,020 --> 01:05:52,300 Possum? No. 649 01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:55,180 Raccoon? No. 650 01:05:56,740 --> 01:05:58,000 Larger, I suspect. 651 01:05:58,460 --> 01:06:05,220 I'd say a bear cub or a fawn or God knows what. A 652 01:06:05,220 --> 01:06:08,660 sibling kangaroo. I don't know. It's something that they've labeled Quiggy. 653 01:06:09,380 --> 01:06:10,380 Quiggy? 654 01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:23,280 You will leave my name out of this completely, Dean. 655 01:06:25,140 --> 01:06:30,940 Not one of these women is majoring in zoology or a related field. 656 01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:41,980 You don't think it could be just sort of a hallucination? 657 01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:44,800 No. 658 01:06:50,830 --> 01:06:52,230 Good day, Miss Cronwitz. 659 01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:54,430 Oh, good day. 660 01:06:58,330 --> 01:06:59,550 Just a minute. 661 01:07:01,450 --> 01:07:06,250 You will leave my name out of this completely. 662 01:09:12,730 --> 01:09:14,450 Couldn't he have a heart attack at 20? 663 01:09:15,069 --> 01:09:18,210 With no fresh air and all that. Look, it's his choice here. 664 01:09:19,229 --> 01:09:20,910 He wanted all three of us at once. 665 01:09:21,410 --> 01:09:23,410 Well, he's got all three of us at once. 666 01:09:34,220 --> 01:09:35,279 Girlfriend's one of ours. 667 01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:36,680 Toby Clinton. 668 01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:38,439 Yes, Gilda, yes. 669 01:09:39,220 --> 01:09:40,840 Uh, who's the young man? 670 01:09:41,420 --> 01:09:44,120 198-200-6Z4. 671 01:09:44,500 --> 01:09:46,020 P. Quigley, for short. 672 01:09:46,620 --> 01:09:50,700 The dean insinuated we might know more than he does about how to find him. 673 01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:52,779 Check it out, dear, and call me back. 674 01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:54,120 Right. 675 01:10:16,379 --> 01:10:17,500 Euless. Euless. 676 01:10:18,640 --> 01:10:19,640 I'm dying. 677 01:10:20,740 --> 01:10:21,820 I'm really dying. 678 01:10:23,120 --> 01:10:24,580 I don't believe it. 679 01:10:25,700 --> 01:10:27,120 What's the matter, baby? 680 01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:29,940 Ain't you been eating your weed, Joe? 681 01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:35,000 You smell the nice steak I brought you. 682 01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:41,240 Oh, come on now, man. You can't pee down like this. 683 01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:47,540 You got every man's dream. 684 01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:56,320 And if you give up now, why, it's like saying, man can't cut the mustard. 685 01:10:58,380 --> 01:11:02,960 What you need is a little mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 686 01:11:35,759 --> 01:11:37,360 11 a.m. 687 01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:42,040 I mean, I ain't never seen no boy so thoroughly pooped before. 688 01:11:43,180 --> 01:11:44,560 But it's almost two weeks. 689 01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:49,060 I mean, really quite a lot, so suppose he... Look, we all agreed here. 690 01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:51,520 Well, I got a painting to finish. 691 01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:52,760 You stay good now. 692 01:11:59,740 --> 01:12:01,500 With the quig in list, do you really think? 693 01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:03,500 Yeah, right after Cassius Clay. 694 01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:06,460 Gotta find the quig. 695 01:12:06,720 --> 01:12:07,740 Gotta keep trying. 696 01:12:08,180 --> 01:12:09,880 I mean, it's almost two weeks now. 697 01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:13,480 Slater and I scouted every motel on Route 9 again this afternoon. Nothing. 698 01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:14,478 Not a trace. 699 01:12:14,480 --> 01:12:16,580 So, we can't stop till we find them, guys. 700 01:12:17,620 --> 01:12:18,620 Can't stop. 701 01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:20,260 Yes, I will be there, Dean Nazrin. 702 01:12:21,440 --> 01:12:25,160 10.30 tomorrow morning. But I was wondering if you could tell me what it's 703 01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:26,160 all about. 704 01:12:28,260 --> 01:12:29,980 Yes, I... All right, I'll be there. 705 01:13:21,499 --> 01:13:23,780 If I could, I wouldn't. 706 01:13:33,260 --> 01:13:36,560 A student is rumored missing from Willard. 707 01:13:39,080 --> 01:13:44,080 A carnivorous beast is rumored crawling about in the attic of Ford Hall. 708 01:13:45,500 --> 01:13:49,360 But only I, Dean Nazarin... 709 01:13:49,680 --> 01:13:51,400 have made the necessary connections. 710 01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,260 What happens now? 711 01:13:53,740 --> 01:13:55,240 Let's decide, shall we? 712 01:13:56,120 --> 01:13:59,120 He deserves the very worst. That's all I have to say. 713 01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:00,800 Really? 714 01:14:01,620 --> 01:14:04,340 He seems to be getting the very best this Quigley. 715 01:14:06,020 --> 01:14:08,800 I have some news that might interest you, Miss Clinton. 716 01:14:10,420 --> 01:14:11,420 Toby. 717 01:14:12,280 --> 01:14:18,020 A woman's progressive college is not a priori a whorehouse. 718 01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:20,380 Do I make myself clear? 719 01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:24,840 This is not a joke. It is not a prank. 720 01:14:25,060 --> 01:14:27,140 He deserves the very worst. 721 01:14:29,020 --> 01:14:30,020 Revenge. 722 01:14:32,400 --> 01:14:33,880 He betrayed you. 723 01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:35,400 This quickly. 724 01:14:38,700 --> 01:14:42,060 Isn't this chap clever enough to escape? 725 01:14:43,340 --> 01:14:46,620 He's been outmaneuvered. 726 01:14:47,380 --> 01:14:48,380 Outmaneuvered, really. 727 01:14:49,540 --> 01:14:55,220 Well, isn't this quickly... Wouldn't he just smash down the door and run off? 728 01:14:55,560 --> 01:14:59,500 If he's being imprisoned against his potent masculine will. 729 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:01,460 We've zapped his strength. 730 01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:03,640 Zapped his strength. I don't... 731 01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:10,260 Oh, yes, I see. 732 01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:16,800 He's not dead by any chance. 733 01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:18,600 Dying. 734 01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:22,880 Well, now. 735 01:15:23,700 --> 01:15:26,980 Not that I sympathize or condone. I don't certainly. 736 01:15:27,780 --> 01:15:32,300 However, if you should smuggle him out of here and back to Willard by noon, 737 01:15:32,360 --> 01:15:38,720 without anyone's knowledge, I may just have 738 01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:39,720 amnesia. 739 01:15:43,650 --> 01:15:44,650 No. 740 01:15:47,890 --> 01:15:48,890 No? 741 01:15:49,530 --> 01:15:50,530 No. 742 01:15:51,010 --> 01:15:56,190 You offered him your love, and he done you wrong. 743 01:15:56,450 --> 01:15:57,590 But you don't understand. 744 01:15:58,530 --> 01:16:01,930 He took it completely, and he gave me his. 745 01:16:02,570 --> 01:16:04,410 And we're not that kind of people. 746 01:16:04,790 --> 01:16:06,410 We mock things like that. 747 01:16:06,670 --> 01:16:08,910 We weren't born to trust and believe. 748 01:16:09,450 --> 01:16:10,730 Miss Clinton. Please. 749 01:16:11,030 --> 01:16:14,410 You don't teach somebody how to laugh out loud and then behind her back. 750 01:16:15,310 --> 01:16:16,810 Well, you just don't do that. 751 01:16:19,370 --> 01:16:22,050 When does he get his freedom? 752 01:16:22,970 --> 01:16:24,210 If I may ask. 753 01:16:24,490 --> 01:16:25,730 When he tells me why. 754 01:16:26,990 --> 01:16:30,290 Perhaps he can't really account for his actions, Miss Clinton. 755 01:16:31,150 --> 01:16:32,150 Can you? 756 01:16:33,230 --> 01:16:36,090 Who in the world knows how men think? 757 01:16:36,530 --> 01:16:38,610 And they're such a guilt-ridden lot. 758 01:16:43,560 --> 01:16:45,820 When he searches time, contact me. 759 01:16:47,980 --> 01:16:49,280 I own the station wagon. 760 01:16:55,380 --> 01:16:58,460 A man can only stand so much, believe me. 761 01:16:58,940 --> 01:17:01,560 I'm doing this my way. You're obsessed, that's why. 762 01:17:01,900 --> 01:17:06,720 Ain't you got no sense at all? I ask you, child, how can a woman spite 763 01:17:06,720 --> 01:17:08,560 herself so for falling in love? 764 01:17:09,480 --> 01:17:12,020 Because you just ain't killing him, you're killing you. 765 01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:13,560 And that's a fact. 766 01:17:14,860 --> 01:17:18,560 Oh, Toby, the one's easily tamed ain't even worth catching, sugar. 767 01:17:20,580 --> 01:17:21,580 Toby, let him go. 768 01:18:05,320 --> 01:18:08,020 True education takes place outside of the classroom. 769 01:18:08,360 --> 01:18:11,240 Imagine calling a class for such a thing. Why not? 770 01:18:11,480 --> 01:18:12,900 It's certainly as important as Easter. 771 01:20:39,470 --> 01:20:40,790 their decision to free you. 772 01:20:42,030 --> 01:20:43,030 Do you understand? 773 01:20:46,770 --> 01:20:47,770 Paxton. 774 01:20:49,670 --> 01:20:50,670 Paxton. 775 01:20:51,250 --> 01:20:54,770 God, it doesn't make sense without a reason. God, Paxton. 776 01:20:55,490 --> 01:20:56,810 It makes no sense. 777 01:22:41,550 --> 01:22:42,890 He should never have stayed in bed. 778 01:22:43,510 --> 01:22:44,510 It's incredible. 779 01:23:56,080 --> 01:24:01,220 And insofar as your shamefully indiscreet behavior casts a dubious 780 01:24:01,220 --> 01:24:06,020 shadow on the reputation of this school, you have done it a criminal, dear 781 01:24:06,020 --> 01:24:07,020 Bervin. 782 01:24:07,480 --> 01:24:09,800 I alone am responsible, not them. 783 01:24:10,940 --> 01:24:15,820 This morning, at its meeting, the Judiciary Committee voted in favor of 784 01:24:15,820 --> 01:24:17,040 immediate suspension. 785 01:24:17,620 --> 01:24:20,980 Oh, shucks, they're going to reclassify me, won't they? 786 01:24:21,380 --> 01:24:24,940 Dean Nazrin tells us there's more in this than meets the eye. 787 01:24:25,870 --> 01:24:26,870 Any comments? 788 01:24:30,030 --> 01:24:31,030 Toby? 789 01:24:32,650 --> 01:24:37,490 The fact of the matter is, ladies, that after the committee voted to suspend 790 01:24:37,490 --> 01:24:42,810 you, they then voted to suspend the suspension, owing to a... Negative 791 01:24:42,810 --> 01:24:44,910 publicity. That might result. 792 01:24:45,290 --> 01:24:46,790 You're going to wrap the whole thing? 793 01:24:47,850 --> 01:24:49,370 Not exactly. 794 01:24:50,470 --> 01:24:57,250 The obvious conclusion for someone not familiar with these peculiar facts would 795 01:24:57,250 --> 01:25:02,650 be that this Quigley chap lodged himself in the attic unknown to anyone at Fulton 796 01:25:02,650 --> 01:25:04,610 College, student or otherwise. 797 01:25:05,510 --> 01:25:09,790 We are informing his school to that effect. We are informing you. 798 01:25:11,430 --> 01:25:12,850 Quigley gets the shaft. 799 01:25:13,210 --> 01:25:14,210 Mama. 800 01:25:20,110 --> 01:25:22,770 And then we'll take off, Quig, you and me, and we'll hunt her down. 801 01:25:23,970 --> 01:25:24,970 We'll do what? 802 01:25:25,550 --> 01:25:26,950 Hunt the bitch down. 803 01:25:27,490 --> 01:25:29,070 She's got a lot coming to her. 804 01:25:30,430 --> 01:25:32,110 Check where you checked the dorm again. 805 01:25:49,480 --> 01:25:50,920 Get in, for God's sake. 806 01:25:51,260 --> 01:25:52,260 Buster? 807 01:25:52,680 --> 01:25:53,680 Fine. 808 01:25:58,740 --> 01:26:00,220 Not exactly. 809 01:26:02,900 --> 01:26:09,600 I'm just going to go off and sort it out in my mind and think and be alone for a 810 01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:10,600 while. That's all. 811 01:26:11,940 --> 01:26:15,960 Non-swimmers should never leap bare-ass into the sea of love. 812 01:26:16,860 --> 01:26:17,860 Pardon? 813 01:26:19,850 --> 01:26:23,490 I mean, my dear, the sea of love is full of squid. 814 01:26:24,430 --> 01:26:27,370 However, some of us find it much too dry on land. 815 01:26:31,090 --> 01:26:32,090 Quigley? 816 01:26:32,550 --> 01:26:36,070 You better get your white butt out of that bed right now, and I do mean fast. 817 01:26:36,350 --> 01:26:38,450 Paxton Quigley's had the cold. 818 01:26:41,170 --> 01:26:43,470 And he's feeling kind of down. 819 01:26:46,130 --> 01:26:48,330 Paxton Quigley's had the cold. 820 01:27:07,850 --> 01:27:08,890 You have your luggage. 821 01:27:09,370 --> 01:27:10,550 Drop me a line, would you? 822 01:27:20,760 --> 01:27:22,660 to see Patrick Quigley. 823 01:27:25,940 --> 01:27:27,080 Bye, my dear. 824 01:27:30,580 --> 01:27:32,780 True love just makes me sick. 825 01:27:39,860 --> 01:27:41,560 Let me talk to you. 826 01:27:44,020 --> 01:27:45,260 Toby, you gotta... 827 01:28:15,760 --> 01:28:17,220 Listen, Tobes, you've got to understand. 828 01:28:18,880 --> 01:28:20,800 We've come through. 829 01:28:36,880 --> 01:28:41,180 Now listen, kid, I want you... 830 01:28:51,960 --> 01:28:52,960 Well, 831 01:28:54,420 --> 01:29:00,020 Harry, I suppose you envy Paxton Quigley, hmm? Well, you know, 50 scores 832 01:29:00,020 --> 01:29:03,920 by the time he was a sophomore means 200 before he graduates. 833 01:29:04,580 --> 01:29:07,160 Boy, Sybil, to be 19 again, huh? 834 01:29:07,420 --> 01:29:09,040 You were never 19. 835 01:29:09,700 --> 01:29:11,440 Funny. Real funny. 836 01:29:13,920 --> 01:29:15,760 Paxton Quigley's had the courts. 837 01:29:16,100 --> 01:29:17,100 Scooby-Doo-woo. 838 01:29:19,219 --> 01:29:21,180 What are you doing, Harry? 839 01:29:21,500 --> 01:29:22,740 I'm looking for my keys. 840 01:29:26,160 --> 01:29:27,200 Oh, there they are. 841 01:29:30,820 --> 01:29:37,600 You know, 842 01:29:37,700 --> 01:29:41,300 in my day, girls wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. 843 01:29:41,820 --> 01:29:45,300 wouldn't dream of it. Well, times have changed. I mean, there's been a sexual 844 01:29:45,300 --> 01:29:46,340 revolution, you know what I mean? 845 01:29:46,660 --> 01:29:49,400 Yeah, but remember, honey, you're on the losing side. 846 01:29:50,640 --> 01:29:52,320 Terrific. Terrific, honey. Bad. 847 01:29:53,840 --> 01:29:57,260 Say, honey, when's the last time we were in the attic, huh? 848 01:29:57,520 --> 01:29:58,520 You know what I mean? 849 01:29:59,520 --> 01:30:00,600 Forget it, Harry. 850 01:30:01,140 --> 01:30:03,320 There's not even standing room up there. 851 01:30:06,660 --> 01:30:07,660 Yeah, it figures. 852 01:30:08,110 --> 01:30:11,390 Paxton Quigley had three girls in the attic. I got two old sofas, three 853 01:30:11,390 --> 01:30:12,470 mortgages, and no girls. 854 01:30:20,570 --> 01:30:25,370 I'll show her. I'm still a tiger. 855 01:30:25,630 --> 01:30:27,670 Once a tiger, always a tiger. 856 01:30:27,970 --> 01:30:30,630 It's like riding a bicycle. You never really lose the neck. 857 01:30:30,910 --> 01:30:32,610 Paxton Quigley's had the course. 858 01:30:38,090 --> 01:30:39,570 Cool it, will you, Harry? 859 01:30:40,130 --> 01:30:43,390 Look, next time we're going to a musical. That's all I can tell you. A 860 01:30:43,390 --> 01:30:44,970 musical. Good night, Sybil. 861 01:30:45,230 --> 01:30:46,270 Good night, Harry.